Come As You Are: Five Years Later by G. Scott Graham

Description

Grief Doesn’t Just End — It Evolves Five years after the death of his husband, G. Scott Graham thought he had equanimity. He thought he had made peace with his grief. But when a new love entered his life, everything shifted. The grief came back—different this time, disguised as hope, desire, and fear. And with it came a whole new set of questions: Can you open your heart again after unimaginable loss? Can you love fully when you know what love can cost? Come As You Are: Five Years Later is not a guidebook. It’s not a “how-to” on healing. It’s a radically honest, soul-baring exploration of what it means to live after grief — and then grieve again when love returns. Written in a voice that feels more like a conversation than a self-help book, this third installment in the Come As You Are series blends raw reflection, poetic storytelling, and hard-won insight. It’s part memoir, part diary, part meditation — and anchored by a practical, no-nonsense appendix for those navigating the messy reality of love after loss. Inside, you’ll find: A deeply personal narrative of falling in love again — and falling apart in the process Insights into how grief reappears not just through loss, but through connection Reflections on Vipassanā meditation, equanimity, and the near enemy of indifference Exercises and tools grounded in Buddhist practice — but accessible to anyone in grief A powerful reminder that healing isn’t linear, and presence is always a choice If you've ever loved deeply and lost, if you're finding your way back to intimacy after heartbreak, or if you're navigating new connection while still carrying old grief — this book is for you. Because grief doesn’t follow a timeline. Love doesn’t erase loss. And the heart, if you’re willing, keeps breaking open. Read less

Reviews

Amazon Customer

★★★★★

5/3/2025

The last 5 years have brought so much grief and suffering to so many of us. This clear-eyed memoir is a beautiful reminder that we are not alone.

Melody Gilley

★★★★★

4/28/2025

Having lost two people dear to me, I found G. Scott Graham's "Come As You Are: Meditation & Grief" to be a refreshingly honest departure from conventional grief literature. Graham writes from the raw experience of losing his husband of 30 years and navigating that loss during pandemic isolation. Rather than presenting grief as something to "get over" or a series of prescribed stages, he offers permission to experience grief exactly as it comes—messy, nonlinear, and ongoing. What struck me most was Graham's integration of meditation practices with his grief journey. These aren't presented as quick fixes, but as grounding tools that create space to be present with pain rather than avoiding it. The book balances personal memoir—including unfiltered diary entries—with practical guidance, helping me recognize patterns in my own grief while providing new mental frameworks to process them. I was unexpectedly moved by Graham's perspective that grief isn't something to "move on" from, but rather to integrate and carry forward. This subtle shift has added depth to my own "mental tree of conscious constructs" around loss. Instead of seeing grief as an obstacle to overcome, I now understand it as an experience that has expanded my capacity for understanding both love and loss. The book doesn't promise easy answers, but offers something more valuable: tools to keep showing up for your grief, exactly as you are.