As I Want to Remember It by Unknown Author

Description

Jo is trying everything she can, but. she just can't remember how she got to this place in her life--it certaintly wasn't her plan to land in the hospital… between the abusive exes and the total implosion of her life--Jo has a lot on her plate, but things are only going to get more complicated. Enter Aileen. Jo knew Aileen was there, but Alieen doesn't remember who she is or what she's doing in Jo's brain--Aileen is frightened at her presence in the system. It unnerves Jo, but really what doesn't? As Jo and Aileen struggle for co-consciousness, the system is thrown into turmoil. While David, another alter, works in the background trying to pull the system back together--of course, David has problems of his own--the triggers surrounding hospitalization--and he is carrying the trauma the rest of the system doesn't want to face--as well as having psychotic symptoms--Jo and Aileen fight against the barriers of the outer world, institutionalism, and the entire rewriting of the system's life. And just when Jo and Aileen begin to manage working together and while Aileen begins to repair her relationship with David and his brother Cole, Jo is torn away to the Alter Prison--a dark mirror world of reality created by Dark Mags. Dark Mags lives as an imprint of abuse in the systems headspace. Abuse suffered at the hands of the system's current lover, Magadelena. There are three other alters trapped in the Alter Prison with Jo--so together with Jokesy Jo must solve the mystery and reunite the system through Jokesy's spiritual mannerisms and rituals--as well as through Jo's worldbuilding skills--and with Cole, David, and Aileen's connection to the headspace--the system must be willing to lay it all on the line—while Dark Mags lingers, tantalizes, and the truth about the cute nurse, Nat, lingers on the horizon, none of the system is safe. As I Want to Remember It is an exploration of toxic relationships, healing, and mental health through the lens of dissociative identity disorder—it follows a fractured system conquering emotional and traumatic events in their lives using fantasy imagery for imagination and metaphor in the form of a literary thriller.

Reviews

Lucy O

★★★★★

11/4/2024

Jo, the main character in As I Want to Remember It: A Novel of Fragmentation, has suffered considerable abuse, toxic relationships, and other traumas to the point that she has acquired dissociative identity disorder and is currently in a psychological facility. The story's fragmented character complicates comprehension. The author depicts a dreadful situation where Jo grapples with her multiple personalities, making it difficult to understand the unfolding events. Hospitalization in such a psychotic state is heartbreaking and beyond my comprehension. The author delivers thorough information, yet it is overwhelming. Someone may give this book a poor rating because of its potential for confusion. Still, I would give it a positive evaluation since the author correctly depicts the inner workings of a person with so many alters in her disassociative state. The novel is good, but only if you grasp what's happening.

Mr. Glass

★★★★★

10/20/2024

The author displays raw talent in a “stream of consciousness” work with alternate universe scenes between Jo and Aileen who are apparently suffering through a traumatic experience. With the extensive dialogue, I felt it more a first attempt at a screenplay. Confusing jumps between the visceral scenes. I had problems with the unexpected changes in tense (past vs. present) and missing punctuations, e.g. missing quote marks in the some of the dialogue. Lots of promise but it came across too streamy for this reader.

Jayden Ringrose

★★★★★

7/14/2024

As I Want to Remember It A Novel of Fragmentation is an enthralling exploration of mental health, trauma, and the complexities of dissociative identity disorder. The story follows Jo as she navigates her chaotic life, grappling with memory loss, abusive relationships, and hospitalization. The introduction of Aileen, an alter who doesn't remember her purpose, adds depth and tension to the narrative. The book masterfully blends reality and fantasy, creating a literary thriller that delves into the psyche's fragmented nature. A must-read for anyone interested in psychological dramas and the resilience of the human spirit.

Bibliomum

★★★★★

6/20/2024

This interesting and original page-turner will have you struggling to put it down. An examination into dissociative identity disorder, the author combines humor, fear, longing sense for our true selves to shine through. In this day and age. when we all need much more attention to self-care, this also reminds us to give others grace for the inward struggles they are facing which may/may not rise to the surface level. It ended too quickly for me, good read.

Jim Kent

★★★★★

5/11/2024

I was taken on an emotional trip and wild ride in "As I Want to Remember It," a novel that explores the complexities of trauma, dissociation, and healing through the lens of dissociative identity disorder. Jo's journey, having to find a way out of the maze created by her fractured psyche, is both captivating and heart-wrenching. As she grapples with abusive exes, inner turmoil, and the mysterious presence of alters like Aileen and David, I was drawn into a mood of uncertainty and intrigue. The writer blends fantasy imagery with real-world struggles… the ones you watch in thrillers or even horror movies. The characters are richly developed and multifaceted, each with their own gauntlets to run. The exploration of toxic relationships and the dire need for healing adds depth and poignancy to the story, making it a worthy read from start to finish.