As I Want to Remember It

Jo is trying everything she can, but. she just can't remember how she got to this place in her life--it certaintly wasn't her plan to land in the hospital… between the abusive exes and the total implosion of her life--Jo has a lot on her plate, but things are only going to get more complicated. Enter Aileen. Jo knew Aileen was there, but Alieen doesn't remember who she is or what she's doing in Jo's brain--Aileen is frightened at her presence in the system. It unnerves Jo, but really what doesn't? As Jo and Aileen struggle for co-consciousness, the system is thrown into turmoil. While David, another alter, works in the background trying to pull the system back together--of course, David has problems of his own--the triggers surrounding hospitalization--and he is carrying the trauma the rest of the system doesn't want to face--as well as having psychotic symptoms--Jo and Aileen fight against the barriers of the outer world, institutionalism, and the entire rewriting of the system's life. And just when Jo and Aileen begin to manage working together and while Aileen begins to repair her relationship with David and his brother Cole, Jo is torn away to the Alter Prison--a dark mirror world of reality created by Dark Mags. Dark Mags lives as an imprint of abuse in the systems headspace. Abuse suffered at the hands of the system's current lover, Magadelena. There are three other alters trapped in the Alter Prison with Jo--so together with Jokesy Jo must solve the mystery and reunite the system through Jokesy's spiritual mannerisms and rituals--as well as through Jo's worldbuilding skills--and with Cole, David, and Aileen's connection to the headspace--the system must be willing to lay it all on the line—while Dark Mags lingers, tantalizes, and the truth about the cute nurse, Nat, lingers on the horizon, none of the system is safe. As I Want to Remember It is an exploration of toxic relationships, healing, and mental health through the lens of dissociative identity disorder—it follows a fractured system conquering emotional and traumatic events in their lives using fantasy imagery for imagination and metaphor in the form of a literary thriller.